Networking: The Weird Game Everyone Plays

I don’t know about you, but I find networking a little weird. Networking is a sought after skill in the corporate world, but, in reality, most participants are well aware that it’s merely a game — and only those well versed with the rules of the game stand a chance at winning. If you also think networking is both manufactured and unnatural, with the elevator pitch being one of its most bizarre features, welcome to my world. As an introvert, networking has always been a gruelling experience. I’d rather crawl into the ground and lay there till the networking event is over. However, after being involuntarily thrust into a series of networking events last summer, I learnt a few tips and tricks about networking which made subsequent events more bearable. Without further ado, here are a few rules I learnt, which I believe will also help you network better: Rule #1 Nod, smile, and look interested Nodding makes you look interested and keeps the other person talking. So nod away, but avoid the rapid agama lizard nod. Instead, go with the “Triple Nod”. Studies show that if you do three slow nods, people will speak three to four times longer. The Triple Nod also makes people more willing to divulge information. Give it a go and you might be surprised what people cough up. Combine your nodding with eye contact and a smile, and you’re good to go. Rule #2 Be fully armed with your target’s information For some, there’s nothing worse than standing in a room full of people you don’t know. But carrying out a little research on people will give you a good starting point, especially if you’re aware who would be at the event. Be fully armed with professional and personal (e.g. hobbies, interests) information of all prospective targets. Yes, they are targets. Similar to a shooting game, networking is effective when you aim at the right people. Whoever you’d like to meet and talk to is your target. As soon as the networking event commences, mark them down and introduce yourself. Let s/he introduce themselves too. Then proceed to entwine your conversation with the information you’ve gathered on them. Try to do this subtly. Maybe s/he worked on a project that you’re interested in, or perhaps the person is a tennis fan just like you. Here, you could ask the person if s/he plays any sports as a hobby, and then proceed to be surprised when tennis is mentioned. This is where you delightfully say “me too” and continue your engaging conversation. Rule #3 Always have a fun fact at the tip of your tongue Get ready to say something interesting about yourself. What do you like to do for fun? That’s a common question, so get ready to answer it. It’s easy to forget networking is a two-way conversation. When you ask your target a question, s/he is likely to throw the same question back at you. If you can’t think of anything fun, go with something fun you’ve done some time ago. No need to lie. No one’s going to insist you tell them the exact year and date. If they do, you could just say it was a while back then change the topic. The ball is in your court. Rule #4 Questions, questions, questions For more formal networking sessions, particularly those that are centred around a talk with a Q&A session afterwards, make sure you have a list of questions to ask the speaker. When carrying out research on the speaker, you could write questions down in a notebook to avoid forgetting them. This is also useful because you can easily cross questions out if the speaker answers some of them during his/her talk. Another tip is to ask questions based on what the speaker says during the talk. Did s/he mention an unexpected transition they made in their career? Ask about it. What fuelled his/her decision? Did it involve any major sacrifices? Merge your preliminary research with attentiveness to the speaker, and you’ll get insightful questions to ask. Rule #5 On exiting the conversation When you sense the conversation is coming to an end, it’s time to wrap it up and proceed to your next target. At this point, you have two options before you leave. You can register your interest by telling the person you’d like talk/meet again sometime (remember to ask for their business card or contact details). Or, if you’d rather not, simply tell him/her it was nice meeting them (it’s nice to mention their name if you remember), wish them a lovely rest-of-the-week/weekend, then you can courteously leave. But before you go, it’s helpful to have marked the next person you’d like to talk to. This prevents the awkward moment where you’re wandering around with no one to talk to. Rule #6 Do as you have said This rule — to do as you have said — is perhaps the most important. If you mentioned you’d send an email, send it. Pick up wherever each conversation left off and schedule catch-up meetings if necessary. Here, it’s important to take a little breather before rushing off to send emails and continue conversations. Try to wait till at least the next day. If the event was on a Friday, then you could send emails on a Monday so that your email can appear as one of the first on the list. Also, remember to write a line that would allow the person to remember you. S/he probably met loads of people, so remember to re-introduce yourself in the email and highlight something distinct that you both discussed. And that’s the last of the rules of the game. Cheers to a less-than-weird networking experience!